“Where have all of the manners gone?  Wait, give me just a minute, I need to answer this call.  Okay, what were we talking about?  Oh yeah…”

 Please answer the following questions: 

1. Have you ever answered a cell phone call during the middle of a conversation with your child?
2. Have you ever written a quick email or text message while “listening” to your child tell you about their day?
3. Are you prone to become impatient if Google doesn’t immediately find the answer you are looking for?
4. Do you feel that you could not exist for one day without being “connected?”
5. Do you try to have at least one nice dinner per week in order to practice dining skills?

Now, please answer these questions if you have interacted with young people during the last month: 

1. Do they seem obsessed with their iphone or smartphone?
2. Do they stop texting and make proper eye contact during conversations?
3. Do they feel that they know everything because they can find it at warp speed on the internet?
4. Do they truly believe the life would end if they were not “connected” for more than 1 hour?
5. In general, do you believe that young people today have appropriate dining skills?

Interesting… Are the young individuals lacking manners or just imitating us?  No parent has ever responded “yes” to the following question, “Do you want your child to grow up being an outcast, incapable of communicating with peers, a social misfit, making poor choices about marriage, and unable to maintain a decent career?”  It is a parent’s worst fear.  However, there is hope! We can do little things each day to teach our children the valuable manners and character traits to be successful citizens. 

Solution:  Adults + Manners = Children with a solid foundation for developing manners & character

Control your technology – don’t let it control you!  Technology is a root cause for rude behavior today.  The text message and email will wait while you give your child the attention (eye contact & nonverbal cues) that they deserve.  This is the number one way to teach someday teenagers the importance of people over technology.

Integrity demonstrated is far more powerful than any conversation about it.  When you make a mistake, take responsibility for it.  It is a great teaching moment that your child can reflect upon when they make a mistake (and they will make plenty of them.)

Voice + perspective + patience = Great approach to life’s situations.  Awareness is another root cause for rude behavior today.  As a society, we tend to look outward instead of inward.  “How is their behavior impacting me?”  Rarely, “How is my impatient behavior impacting the tired, mother of three that is working her second shift at the grocery store to make ends meet.”  Imagine the incredible lesson your behavior will teach your child when they see you demonstrating caring and concern for this mother.

Initiate at least one family dinner each week that is meant to be a safe environment for learning table manners.  Have the children help set the table, properly use their utensils, demonstrate engaging conversation, and so forth.   Just imagine how much they will appreciate all your hard work and effort when they confidently navigate the dinner table during their first formal date.   

Love them unconditionally.  When a child feels unconditional love from a parent, it propels that child’s self confidence greatly.  Self confident and secure children tend to make friends easier, develop healthy relationships with teachers, and make positive life choices. 

The paradox about “children + manners = well mannered citizens” is that it doesn’t begin with “children” = it begins with “adults.”    

Better or worse than before?  Historically, each generation has felt that their generation was worse than the previous one.  We tend to remember the “good ole days.”  Therefore, our children will look back on these years and fondly believe they were better because of our hard work and dedication to their development.